i lie helplessly as i watch
a hideous, creepy hand of a monster
recklessly ripping my chest
and greedily swooping my heart.
i could not move. i could not think
all i could do is blink
as he smashed my precious heart
to the floor, where it lay in pieces
i close my eyes and whisper my prayer
that God or His angels would descend
and pick up the shattered pieces
put them back one by one
so i may breathe
and live
and love–
again
before my
d
e
a
t
h.
For April 22, Saturday, Earth Day
Dear Mother Earth,
A Happy day to you…it is your day, afterall, and you deserve all the pampering, all the care and love, and all the concern that we usually tend to forget. Perhaps it is easier to forget that is why we just forget about our responsibilities to you. We forget because we are scared. Or we remember, but just for a day.
Thank you for bearing with us. A million thanks for keeping yourself up just so you could feed us, just so you could take for us, despite our carelessness of irresponsibly throwing our garbage which kills the corals and fish and which blocks rainwater from flowing smoothly, of unchecking our car gas leaks which drowns your ocean with dirt and oil, of extravagantly cutting our trees without even the thought of replacing them, of emitting endless and countless harmful gases that bore a hole in your ozone layer and is now threatening us with global warming… We’ve caused you so much pain but still, you try to survive on your own for us, your children.
If only I could pick you up and let you weep in my arms…If only I could crowd you with my tightest embrace…If only I could cry with you and rock you to comfort…If only I could whisper comforting words into your ears and sing lullabies for you…
But I could not. I am only one of those irresponsible human beings abusing your goodness and bounty.
But now, I have known better. And so I pledge you my lifetime gift of protecting and conserving you in my own little ways. I pledge to take a bath just once, even if it is summer time. I used to take showers three or four times a day because of the heat, but I promise to cut it down to one. In fact, I am proud to tell you that I have done this for almost a month now.
I also promise to recycle. The shopping bags I get from the supermarket I re-use them whenever my mom and I go to the local tabo in wet markets. Whenever I clean our aquarium, I use the old water to shower our plants.
And perhaps this is the greatest sacrifice I am undergoing. I have cut down my use of the airconditioner, the very thing I could not live without, especially this summertime. So, I only use it after lunchtime until four o’clock and at bedtime until at 2 in the morning. Yep, I do take the pain of waking up at 2 just open the windows and let your cool breath flood my senses.
Please don’t give up on us. I know several friends who are dedicated and passionate enough to do little things for you. And as we increase in number, these little things will become great ones.
With much love from your child…
P.S. I do hope those sitting officials in the government would remember you not just on your day but everyday in their lives. And I do hope they will do something better other than a rock concert to remember and rekindle our awareness for your love and greatness for us.
This is the time of the year when shiny, oval-shaped reddish-green fruits called the sigarilyas (sinegwelas to some) in the dialect abound in Dumaguete. Walking by Perdices St. alng, the city’s business area, one could see a queue of women selling their fruits piled in their nigos from either Siquijor and Zamboanguita. At the peak of summer, the prices could go as low as P15 a kilo. It is in this time that me and my friends would eat this fruit the way we we eat junkfoods–while watching movies, chatting in STED’s, or simply frolicking in VH grounds in local mats. These were the good times then.
And these scenes, as well as the smell and taste of these fruits, is what I am craving for. I would always go home and buy five kilos or six of these as pasalubong.
Of course, there are sigarilyas being sold here in my dear old province. But I miss the abundant quantity and the very affordable price. And it makes me want to go back to the City of Gentle People.
Pretty ironic, really. When I was in Dumaguete, I would not last a week without ever complaining of going home to Bohol. I miss my bed, the cable tv, my family, the malls, the Jap restaurant, the state-of-the-art theaters, etc, etc–these I would always whine to my friends. But now that I am in Bohol where I could sleep in my bed anytime of the day, spend time with my family 24/7, and watch movies in the latest theaters, I am sorely missing Dumaguete.
Guess, life’s like that. As I have always said, Dumaguete has become my second home, too. For the last five years (except the one year I spent in faraway land), I have spent most of my time in this capital city of Oriental Negros, only going home on weekends.
Heck, it’s not only the sigarilyas I miss about this city, I miss anything and everything about it.
Even if we have real malls here in Tagbilaran, I still miss the narrow alleyways and the disorganized stairs and escalators of Lee Plaza and Cang’s, and the lumped and small boutiques, shops, and stalls in Ever Mall.
Even if I am so wild crazy about KFC and RaiRaiKen here in Tagbilaran I still miss the distinct tastes and flavors of Scoobys and Taster’s Delight. And though there are countless shops here from Freeway to Guess to the department stores in each malls, I still long for the quaint little boutiques with friendly salesladies like Marjorie’s and Water Lily.
And even though Tagbilaran kind of enjoys early premieres of new movies, with their state-of-the-art theaters, I still love the cranky, little theaters of Dumaguete, with their smelly seats and can’t-be-locked comfort rooms. I mean, hello, where else in the world can I watch double treats like Just My Luck and My Super Ex-Girlfriend, Take The Lead and Chaos, AeonFlux and Munich, The Dukes of Hazard (though I found this extremely stupid) and The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, Step Up and Flyboys, etc, for only P45?
I already have satisfied my craving for sigarilyas. But I still crave for Dumaguete. The acacia trees, the familiar faces, the memorable halls and alleyways… Ay, Dumaguete, you will always hold a special place in my heart! 
Her glassy eyes sparkling dangerously against the night, her delicate face twisted as if a disgusted angel on fire, and her pouty lips delivering each word with such hate and anger I could feel a chill on my spine, she successfully scared and drove the enemy away.
With such passion and feeling I have rarely seen on most stars, she delivered quite convincingly and forcefully these lines that made history, would surely make headlines and be incorporated in my everyday punch line: I would like to strangle you to death, and with much pleasure, watch your eyes bulge until they pop out of their sockets.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am talking about last night’s tension-filled and emotional encounter between Celine and Corazon of Maging Sino Ka Man. And yes, I do watch our very own teleseryes, (provided they possess quality cast, plot, production, etc) side by side with some Koreanovela.
Forgive me if I have to blog about that scene here but I am only doing justice and saluting our very own Filipino talent. Most importantly, I would like to say “Bravo!” to the award-winning performance of Anne Curtis. In our Pinoy pop entertainment where almost everyone can become actors and actresses as long as they have the mestizo/mestiza look, it is refreshing to see real talent amidst the sea of wannabes giving the televiewers crap.
I am no acting expert but among the so-called telenovela princesses being groomed by the rivaling networks, there is only one actress I consider a real one, and that is, Claudine Barreto. Make her a pulubi, inaapi, martyr, chain-smoking bitch, kikay, femme fatale, boheme beauty—she’ll surely give you a stellar performance as convincing as convincing can be.
That is why it is heartwarming to see Anne Curtis deliver that scene with such emotion and passion. I never really liked this actress before; for me, she was just an itsy bitsy teeny boppy over-bubbly kikay and maarte wannabe before. But since she started taking meatier roles, she just metamorphosed into a mature actress that could surely make my money’s worth. They said that she outshone Heart Evangelista in Hiram. I was not able to watch that drama but now, I could safely say she stole the limelight from Bea Alonzo with that scene last night.
Is this a positive sign for Filipino television and movie industry? I hope so and I am keeping my fingers crossed. As for Anne, way to go girl!
Well, I haven’t have a final list yet. I do not even know whether I will be able to complete my senatoriables. All I know is that I will be leaving some posts blank for the local positions. Reasons? Political dynasties, traditional politicians, corrupt trackbacks, and there are no other choices. But, I have my criteria for my bets. Here goes:
1) Loyalty to party. Loyalty determines a politician’s principle and integrity. It is what makes him a man or a woman. If a candidate changes party like he/she changes underwear, that only means he/she does not have the political will or the independence of mind and character to defend himself or his stand. And this, to me, ladies and gentlemen, is a very important tool to seeing the real character of a person, or a lawmaker or political leader.
2) Performance trackback. This is one of the reasons why I am not voting for Mike Defensor. Remember the tragic flashfloods and mudslides in Luzon? That happened during his stint as DENR Secretary. The media ultimately found out that the owners of the illegal logging company has close family ties with Defensor. And what did he do? Just posing for photo-op of the confiscated logs, a few days after the tragedy when many lives and properties had been already lost.
And this is also the same reason why I am not voting for Pichay. I never really liked him, actually, but I just found concrete proof of how crooked he is. I am posting the link for everybody’s benefit and for the general welfare of our nation.
http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,139004.0.html
3) Political Dynasties. Enough said. That is why I won’t be voting for Koko Pimentel. Period.
4) Age. It is time for a new breed of honest, dilligent, and brilliant politicians.
5) Money spent for campaign. Simple logic. The more money a candidate spends, he or she will double or triple that in accumulating riches while in position.
6) Political agenda or platform. If a candidate has no platform or agenda of governance, what is his or her use in the government? Why vote for him, then? He or she must have a clear, practicable, and beneficial agenda.
I have my personal bias for candidates with good programs and/or advocacies for the environment and for education. The environment, I think, is the most important factor for our daily survival because without it, there will be no fish to catch, trees to make paper, no air to breathe, no water to drink… Unfortunately, however, the environment gets the least attention from our politicians and government leaders.
Education, on the other hand, is what will empower our nation. Last Monday, I read Wilson Flores’ column in the Philippine Star and I totally agree with him. He said that instead of sponsoring beauty pageants, or constructing basketball courts, politicians need to build more schools to make education more accessible to everyone. And I would like to add that building more classrooms is not enough; there must also be proper training of teachers, appropriate compensation for teachers so as not to make them consider working abroad, and more quality books for public schools. Also, it would be good for a political candidate or our present leaders to give incentives to parents who will send their kids to school. In our place alone, most schoolers drop out from school because they opt to work and earn.
These are just my own criteria for choosing a candidate. I do hope that the Filipino people will have their own criteria, too, to enable them make the right choices. Come election time, let’s be wise, everyone!
Life is all about passion. Passion is what drives me. It is the reason for my living and surviving the very thing called life. Life without passion is no life at all. I’d rather die than continue living without it.
This sad state of lacking passion is what I felt when I entered law school. Oh boy, don’t get me wrong; I do want to be a lawyer, that’s a fact, but, at that time, I just thought that this is not the right time to be a law student. I wanted to work for two years and apply what I have painstakingly learned from my four-year stay in the School of Communication (now College of Mass Communication–hurrah!) and from my one-year stint in Global and Intercultural Studies.
But as I’ve always said, life has its way of twisting and turning complicatedly, much much more complicated than the plots of our very own teleseryes.
So there I was in Villareal Hall in June last year, staring at the ceiling while all of my classmates have rattled off their reasons for taking up law. I could not even remember what my answer was at that time; all I knew was that I still managed to connect law to being a journalist, which is of course, my first love. If life was to be a rainbow, my life, that time, was no rainbow at all; it was a dark, gloomy sky.
But everything changed the moment second semester came. Let’s just say that I have slowly adapted to the stressful life of a law student; I have adjusted to our professors’ mood swings. But then, my passion for law was just so small; I could easily wallow in self-pity thinking of my miserable life.
A few hours before I left Dumaguete, I had a heart to heart talk with Mass Com dean, Dr. Rosario Baseleres. And yep, even though I sounded like an old or pirated disc, I complained of the lack of passion in my life.
So, while thinking up of ideas how am I gonna reinvent myself, I realized that the very best thing to do, though not the easiest, is to put more passion into my dull life.
And just in case I forget, here are some ways I have concocted and listed to bring back passion and find my way back to life:
1. Re-learn Japanese. Yeah, I need to review and re-ignite my zeal for learning new language. And since a JICA volunteer is working with my mom right now, I think this will come easily.
2. Review the American Sign Language. I was at Garden Cafe last night with my family and I was just reminded how fulfilling it is to be able to communicate with the deaf and mute. Although I have forgotten most of the gestures, I managed to bring a smile and carry on a simple conversation with the staff.
3. Volunteer.
4. Do something for the Earth.
5. Write.
6. Watch good old movies (The Piano, etc) and new ones, as well. Hmmm…I missed The Pursuit for Happyness but I am looking forward to Miss Potter, Harry Potter 5, Spider Man 3, and the Sunshine. I am also planning to watch Prof. Jonah Lim’s collection of short digital films.
7. Read books other than law books. Choices include The Zahir, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, The 500 People You Meet in Hell, War and Peace, and some Grisham books.
8. Listen, watch, and read the news and get involved with it.
9. Research about the bets for the local elections so I will be able to make intelligent, and informed choices.
10. Master one dish (I am thinking of paella) and a baked dessert (this one’s difficult!).
11. Write a short fiction story.
12. Invent/make something just like what I did the past summer when I designed and glamourized some rubber tsinelas. Translation: Get creative!
