Two Million Thoughts

To those who have finished reading, why on earth did the sword of Gryffindor ended up inside the Sorting Hat and was pulled and used by Neville in killing Nagini, when the last that we heard about was that it was cunningly snatched by the goblin, Griphook, while they were stealing Hufflepuff’s cup at Bellatrix’s vault at Gringotts?

Just wondering… YOu might as well enlighten and provide me the portkey of knowledge on this matter.

A magical night to all… May the sky be filled with Albus’ twinkling eyes and not of the Dark Mark…

Holly and phoenix feathers,

zusabel

"The dedication of this book is split in seven ways, To Neil, To Jessica, To David, To Kenzie, To Di, To Anne, and To You, if you have stuck with Harry until the very end."

Blimey, people, it took me a long time to finally write my piece on the much awaited Final Book of the epic tale of Harry Potter!

It is just that I was in denial in thinking that Book 7, is the final, and the last. Huhuhu. Call me an idiot or an overly-dramatic bookphrenic but the Harry Potter series has been part of my life already. Thanks to my BC teacher, Jean Claire Dy, who first introduced me to the series.

So, how was the book? Well, I want all to know that I am writing no review here at all. Because if I do, I might as well be biased. I am here to write my sentiments, that’s all, thank you very much.

My plan really was to read the book chapter by chapter, slowly, in order to fully relish and cherish the moment. But then, you just have to give it up to JKR’s brain of creativity that I really could not stand putting the book down (well, except those moments that I had to eat or go to my classes).

To those who guessed it right, we’ll finally feel, as JKR puts it, vindicated. [spoiler starts here] Yes, Harry is the seventh and the last Horcrux! I am just glad that it didn’t turn out that he and Riddle should die. Though of course, I was sure I was quite convinced that he had to, after reading the chapter, the Prince’s Tale. I felt really emotional when he finally realized the meaning of "I open at the close" and he finally whispered "I am about to die." And then the part where the Deathly Hallow stone brought back his parents, Sirius, and Remus brought me to tears, especially that part when he said "Sorry" to Remus, and when he whispered to Lily to "stay close."

And of course, I was so glad to hear back the good old wisdom of Albus, and his remorse over his dark youth days. I am glad that JKR did not make him an overly perfect character. Really, Rita Skeeter’s book on the LIfe and Lies of Albus Dumbledore made me really curious to know the truth about Kendra and Ariana and Aberforth. Turned out Rita was just being who she is, a power-hungry story-weaver of a journalist. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Oh, I can’t help but be shocked by the death of Fred Weasley. I mean, Fred, hello? He was the better half of all my laugh trips in the book and to read his death that way (and [he] stared without seeing, the ghost of his laugh still etched on his face) was very ironic for his personality. And to think that he was the first to forgive Percy.

Of course, I was glad to read and see more familiar faces again like Viktor Krum, Oliver Wood and the rest of Harry’s Quidditch team, etc… And yeah, I am so damn proud of Hermione Granger for being smart and everything! And Luna and Neville.. [spoiler ends here]

I could go on rambling and I know for the next few days my word of mouth will be about Harry and the rest of the gang. I haven’t reached the point of "I open at the close" yet.

I have to give it up to my superfriend Gracey to turn the challenges i life into some beautiful moments and conjure a well-meaning modifier while at it.

Now, I can truly express my current state with her modifier: superficially fine.

I feel like suffocating with all the assignments we have to do and finish before Monday. It feels like someone is choking me or well, in a very literal sense, the photocopies of case and the litter of books in my room is already up to my neck. This afternoon, I complained of a very fast irregular heartbeat that I could not breathe. And just minutes before that, I was experiencing the stomach pangs I usually have when my stress-induced hyperacidity strikes once again.

It doesn’t help now that I learned a nasty rumor about me that one of my former classmates had spread. Grrrrr!

So, wanna ask me how I am? I am pressed for time and superficially fine. Laboratory inventions that come in pills we call as Raxide or Zantac, Nafarin A or Decolgen, and that ever reliable miracle of a drug called antibiotic, more specifically JFlex, are circulating in my blood, keeping my life intact. Prayers from friends and family and some sort of a masquerade game between me and myself keep my sanity.

What a life.

Should there be an award for the most pathetic Harry Potter fan, it would certainly go to me and no one else. It’s the fourth day from the premiere of the Order of the Phoenix and I am soo stuck here in Dumaguete! Since Wednesday, I have received a steady flow of messages from friends and fellow Potter fans, all gushing about their cinematic experience but still complaining about the lack of the movie’s heart and soul compared to the book.

I can’t just imagine my (bad) luck. Here in Dumaguete, the cinemas are still showing Fantastic Four (which was like shown in Bohol like ages ago), Perfect Stranger (this was in Bohol like soo eons ago!) and Bordertown with some other suspense-thriller I don’t give a damn!

How can it be so unfair?

My friends are now munching popcorns and sipping sodas, watching the Black ancestral house and the members of the Phoenix, the fight at the Ministry, Luna Lovegood and Umbridge, while some had finished their cinematic trip and are now discussing the movie vis-a-vis the book sipping their coffee, etcetera, etcetera, and I am soo friggingly stuck with 15 cases to digest, 150 pages of text to read, and some other responsibilities of a law student. Argh!

The Order of the Phoenix is my second fave, next to the Prisoner of Azkaban. Well, at least, my sis, Mabel, had some good news for me just a while ago! Sirius Black was more dashingly handsome in the movie and he ought to be ‘coz it was just how he was as in the books! The past movies had featured him in quite a shabby and unshapely state, which was, of course, understandable, considering the fact that he just came from Azkaban in Prisoner of Azkaban and he had been hiding and roaming as a dog in Goblet of Fire.

My good, good friend, Thawdie, texted me that the movie lacked feelings in it. He said it was a cinematic experience but he still loved Goblet of Fire more. Well, on the first contention, I guess all hardcore  Potter fans would always prefer the book than the movie. And as on the last one, Goblet of Fire was of course full of awesome tricks and effects, considering the grandiose of the Triwizard Tournament, but I am still keeping my fingers crossed that the Order of the Phoenix will be justified by the movie.

Anyway, here is an interesting review of HP and the Order of the Phoenix: http://www.shopcrazy.com.ph/2007/07/13/movie-review-harry-potter-and-the-order-of-the-phoenix/#more-2422

My heart bleeds reading this review. And I love to torture myself reading it over and over again, mocking my unfortunate self.

Pathetic.

Just something I conjured while facing the blank screen and feeling like Erato’s fair-haired child. *wink*wink*

The night was pitch black

And I stand there waiting,

Scanning the horizon when I can see none,

Wondering, where are you—

Luna, my lovely goddess, the one

Who understands my soul and

Soothes my heart?

The pain is too heavy to bear,

The tears are too many to contain

And my helpless face can’t hide no more…

The tears are starting to fall

As the rain slowly drops from out of nowhere,

And I still stand there, waiting, waiting—

Longing, longing,

And crying.

If love was made in heaven,

Why did hell mess with my heart?

And I found myself laughing because

I could cry no more,

Sitting because I could stand no more,

Desperately trying to feel but

My good ole heart could feel no more.

It has given up.

I am numb…

I wanted to shout but I can’t

I wanted to kill someone

I wanted Luna to come out.

I am numb.

The rain came to a downpour

And I shivered because I did not feel

Anything at all.

I write to shoo away boredom. I write to talk to myself. I write to ease the pain. I write to unload the burden of longing. I write to keep me busy. I write to keep my sanity.

I write hoping for a miracle. I write waiting for something to happen. I write to persuade. I write to convince. I write to represent the voiceless, the penless, the wordless. I write to turn words into ideas, ideas into actions. I write to make a difference.

I write to turn sadness into melancholy. I write to turn heartbreaks less painful. I write to tell my story. I write to invalidate their stories. I write to be content. 

I write to learn a lesson. I write to reminisce the past. I write to remember history. I write to forget.

I write to be happy. I write to dream. I write to fall in love. I write to fall out of love. I write to keep my faith in love. I write to find my way back to love.

I write to live; I live to write.