How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?
I’m down on the pits again just when I thought I was over the cycle of my love-hate state of my being in law school.
It all starts with I’m-gonna-make-this-fine-and-love-law-school-through-hell-or-high-waters, then, to I-think-I’m-totally-loving-everything-from-digesting-cases-to-reading-books, then I’d start to question whether I made the right choice, then I’d wallow in self pity thinking that I made the wrong choice, then I’d hate myself because I’m not doing anything in life, then, I’d fell purposeless and useless, and it’s back to positive thinking again.
Last Friday was just an ordinary day except that whatever I did, my system simply refused to study or to think anything or everything about law school. Tough. All I could think was that a climate change is going on and what am I doing? Sitting in the library, reading all the required articles to read (nothing about climate change or anything about social responsibility), attending classes, and getting exhausted and sleeping afterwards. All I could worry about is the next time our professors would call me for recitation or my answers in the quizzes while people my age, or even younger than me, are already making such big impacts in the world by being volunteer teachers or home builders in far-flung barrios. There are two million thoughts in my mind but I do not have the luxury of time to write these down.
In short, I am feeling completely useless, totally purposeless, pathetically passionless. I have lost the zeal of living life. Or worse, I have no life at all now.
It’s just that I believe that there are more important things in life other than studying laws and lawlessness.
In its plan to revive the Sound Of Music, movie bigwigs are running the reality show, How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?, to find the right actress to fill in Julie Andrews’ role. I don’t exactly know if the show has been running already or if it has ended but I just wish solving a problem like myself is as easy as staging a reality show. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk…
